My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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