OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
