ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have post one night stand depression
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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