Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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