Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
