Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
