just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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