he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
