i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
