giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So. Much. Porn.
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