That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
this is an emotional support booty call
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am available for nakedness
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
