i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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