week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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