I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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