North Korea, Best Korea!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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