Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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