Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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