Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
