eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
