I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Drake has all the answers
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
