i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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