apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
