Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
