upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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