You can't motorboat a personality
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
