ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
