i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
