Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
