is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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