Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
