Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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