You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its about making memories worth repressing
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
