Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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