but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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