ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
