If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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