He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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