It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
