So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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