He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
