i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
