I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
