I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
