so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize