I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
