There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
