Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
