lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
