I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
