good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's official drugs can't kill me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
