just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
