I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
