gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
